'Bun-kor', 'Maa-ki' and Ricky

We can all agree that everybody, every one of us, hates Australia. We also agree that its become worse ever since that slut (potta in Tamil, as my dad keeps calling himi) Ricky Ponting became the captain. Ricky is Australia. He is fast as a rat, his chubby cheeks make him look like a white monkey, we feel curiously unfulfilled if he doesn't do something infuriatingly racist every match.
The Sydney match is cricket through and through. Its worth making a film on, considering the material is already there. When Bhajji was accused and indicted for racist sledging and banned of all things, Tendulkar messages Pawar about Bhajji. Now that becomes a big deal, to the extent that Prem Panicker, Anil Dharker, and several others cite it frantically as proof of Bhajji's innocence. Tendulkar (sigh, doesn't this always happen!) denies it. Sheesh.
We loafers have this little nook with benches and adhrak chai next to our colony. Its a cool, little store, with stray dogs and chickens getting into scraps around there. I was going there with Shreyas and naturally Marathi Manoos bhai was talking about the situation. This was a few days before, mind you, when we were all just bitching about the ridiculous d-umpiring. Bun-kor it seems was a bastard, according to the moustachioed bhai, Bun-kor being Bucknor.
Only one article in TOI got it right. To lose after a fight is fine. To give those pigs the Aussies their record, can be, well, put up with. To get this feeling that umpiring is a farce is understandable. To let two effortless, almost liquid centuries go utterly waste is ok, records are still there for Sachin and VVS. Getting the plug rudely pulled out of Ganguly's valiantly stylish and aggressive 50 of 51 by a lousy decision and even lousier decision making process is, (Control, Uday, Control!) fine! I mean, who asks Ricky? Not even his wife. Benson must be having a thing for Ricky's butt.
BUT, TO BE LABELLED RACIST AFTER ALL THIS SHIT HIT THE FUCKING SKY, LET ALONE THE CEILING, IS UH-UHN, FUCKAS!
It was one of the few, few test matches I actually delighted in watching. Every time I was waiting for Indian batsmen to clamp down, look clumsy. All right, Dravid cannot look clumsy, but he did clamp down, but every body, even Ishant Sharma, played their shots. In the first innings, they broke all the rules. In the second, they still looked damn tough. Ganguly's 50 was impudence, elegance, perseverance.
But to get back to Bhajji and Monkey, and Symonds. I heard from my bro that Symonds and Hayden, both thick friends, both meaty, have this innocent, lovely pasttime to spend the long Australian summer days. Its almost so cute ya!. They go out with kitchen knifes and slaughter boars. Way I see it, Bhajji must have called him Kasai. Whatever he called him, anybody who gets past a choked, squeaky silence with Symonds-kasai deserves a Gallantry Award. But, that apart, brave or not, Bhajji doesn't seem to have called him anything. And when in doubt, if its Australia, do not linger in doubt. Australia started it. Symonds started it. Ricky is always at it. Gilchrist is another bitch. Hayden is scary. McGrath could play a Nazi. Brett Lee is (whew!) fine.
TOI is en-soing this bit of yellow like no paper can. One rumour is delightful. Seems Bhajji said 'Teri Maa-ki....' which a Symonds, naturally innocent of any Hindi, construed as Monkey.
In the end, its worthwhile remembering Kumble's anguished, Greek face at the end of the match. Its always weird (for me at least) when a game makes a grown man choke in international broadcast, but thats precisely what poor Anil was doing. Gavaskar tells him with great sympathy, that he is a great ambassador. Slater (another porcupine, now that I remember) tells him the same thing, but carefully edges out of the Australia debate. Just why do these Australians turn into Brits when on TV and poor white trash on the field?