Sir, listen sir, sir listen sir. Yes sir. Commercial filim only. Singapore machan tries to correct figure in Mumbai monsoon, and monsoon train corrects him instead. No fighting in the train sir. Don’t happen sir, Bombay people too good for that. Opening scene saar-
Juhu beach. Fine and sunny afternoon. Figure, sir. Hero talking sir, hand putting sir. No, figure is not minding sir. Figure show him both east and west Bombay, two horns of the shore. Sea underbelly and figure belly … no sir, no exposing, just match cut sir. Alai payudhe (Waves Prance!) song will be good sir, but classical feel will be too much. Item number later sir. Figure become female now sir, so she is calling friend-ok? Hero sees sea belly, all wrinkles and foamy sir and spits. Oh figure talking sir, so she doesn’t see. Hero says: ‘I think I’ll get back. Don’t worry, I’ll manage. But from Juhu to Thane… god. Ya I know you do it all the time, I am laughing it off eh? I’ll wait till Suraj takes you, I mean takes over. Quit grinning’ So then figure and he go to bhel puri stall. Saar, not café coffee day saar, more open air shots and …ok sir, later café coffee day. Promise. No, I am not feeling control. Controlled, controlled, sorry.
Then rain. Rain rain rain sir. Item number now sir, in mind of hero. Then abrupt bhel puri shot and other couples, behind other couples suraj sir. For figure’s face now extra lighting, and big smile she gives. Oh to Suraj sir, way figures do all the times. Figure looks like wet ripe tomato fruit because of rain and Suraj. Hero puts mokkai for some time and exit.
Rain shot sir. Kurosawa roshomon inspiration sir, thank you sir, thank you. Auto and all not coming, hero crumbling in rain. Hero tries going back to beach from road…steps sliding into sand sir, and votha! Ommalla wind and rain like shrew’s bite, full sideways. Hero gives a gilli smile now. No other figure sir! Hero finds auto, along with two others. Share auto and when Andheri station they reach, hero has no change, Bombay boys let him go without his fare share. Hero again goes gilli.
Train pretty empty and hero pretty full of train and life in genral, super music. Gets off at Dadar. In Dadar platform people as many as beach sand. Hero in platform four and ask for platform one, when another Bombay boy shows him. Train come. People POUNCE! Alai Payudhe music samma comedy now sir. Remix of course. People go inside, hang outside, roof, car gaps, everywhere. Hero not so gilli now and curses figure. Bombay boy tells him to take to Parel and catch it where people are less. Hero thanks Bombay boy, but the din mutes him.
In Parel they get off and public is less. But near the train there is as many. Train arrives. Public ready. Train stops. JOOT! Hero with thousand other heroes. Oye hero! Chal hat, gaadi bharela hai, andhar nahi aanekha abhi! (oye hero! Move it, train’s full, don’t come inside now!) Hero doesn’t come inside. Don’t stay outside either, hanging on to train with five other people. Feels his time has come and puts smile, but shivering, shivering with fear and monsoon. Then five other people come in next station and jam him inside.
Ten stops to thane, forty five minutes. Getting entrance on other side of train for the platform, same time. Hero makes pilgrimage, with another tapori with no life. Guy makes fun of everything. Drunk on monsoon and taadi. Never pay fare for ten years! Laughs. Don’t touch me in all the wrong places, brothers, not that kind of guy! All laugh. Hero hanging on and his sleeve slides down, and his fleshy white arm tapori sees. Tapori looks all lusty and everybody starts grinning at hero. Hero joins in the fun and brushes tapori’s cheek. I ain’t also that kind of guy. I know I know, but couldn’t handle the white flesh brother. Everybody stick closer than couples in midnight masala. Everybody laughing, adjusting, enjoying tapori’s jokes. Don’t squeeze me lads, squeeze the wife back home. If she comes back tonight that is. Hero knows no figure to squeeze and looks sad. Tapori ask him why. My maal is not at home man, with Suraj. Love failure everybody hear about and talk it over and decide Suraj is as lousy and fat as kallu mama (black uncle). Hero gets off at Thane station with jeans lower than black uncle’s. Rap music comedy now sir.
Hero feels for his wallet.
But sir that is masala, doesn’t happen always.
